wide awake

i have posted about my passion of scrapbooking a lot lately but have not posted much about my other passions and interests as much. i thought today would be a great day. one area that i am trying to work on is becoming the women that God would want me to be. i am reading an awesome book by Ermin Mcmannus called Wide Awake. it talks about the dreams of our life. it brings up the possibility that our dreams might not be even close to what God has for us.

"There are dreams we try to recruit God into, and frankly I think He looks at us and says not on your life...Jesus spent much of his influence trying to get those who would listen to change what they cared about. Because what you care about is what you dream about. Your passions fuel your dreams. If we want to live a wide awake life of our dreams, we must trust God to guide us on a journey we cannot take on our own. He sees the dream that could become your life. A life beyond your wildest dreams. Don't take you last breath without living it." {mcmannus}

isn't that just so well written! a few years ago i was heavy burden with being told "please come to my office now, i need to see laine" by her pediatrician. Our 6 day old had some lab work done and it wasn't normal. "just come now, i am keeping the office open for you" she said. i couldn't believe my ears. we went. we had more lab work. we had more appointments. we had more bad news. we were told she had a rare genetic disorder. i stopped dreaming. my thoughts were just getting through each day. i am really glad that God didn't stop dreaming for me. he has waited patiently until i have been ready to accept all he has for me, for laine and for my family. what are your dreams. do they line up with what God would want for you? do you trust God for what is best? i started the dream that laine could be healthy. today she is. and tomorrow i am hopeful too. i have learned a lot, but hope that i can be taught more. trust more. know Him more. and live the dream God has for me Wide Awake.

The cart

Well I am not the most creative writer in the world...so I am sharing today what my recent Bible study is learning. For more info go to http://shepherdinggrace.org/ This week the topic was our burdens and having rest. Here is the story...

A traveller was walking down the road laboring under the heavy burden he was carrying on his back. Along came a man with a horse-drawn cart. Pulling alongside the Traveller, the cart driver said, "Sir! I see you are carrying a heavy load and that it makes you weary. Wouldn't you rather ride in my cart than carry that heavy burden?"

"Yes," the Traveller said as he got into the cart, "Now I will no longer have to walk with this burden." A little farther down the road the cart driver looked behind him and was quite astonished to see the Traveller sitting in the cart still carrying his burden, held tightly on his back.

"Sir, why do you still bend under the weight of your burden when you could simply set it down?" he asked. "You have helped me so much already," said the Traveller, "I would not want to impose on you any further."

"But don't you see," replied the cart driver, "it would not be an imposition on me for you to put your burden down. Look at my horse; he is strong and willing. He was made to carry your heavy burdens. Besides, both of you are now carrying your load, yet my horse will carry your load whether you do or not! So please put your burden down or you will wear yourself out and make my horse feel unappreciated."


Isn't that a great story? So many times I place burdens in my bag and continue to carry it. Sometimes our burdens are great and big and serious like boulders in the sack. Those fill our bags quickly, but sometimes make it is easier to go to Him. Other times they are just little pebbles and rocks from everyday stresses like work, errands, lack of time, lack of sleep, cleaning, disciplining, trying to reconnect ect...ect...ect. He still wants us to go to Him all the time. With the big and little stuff God is there for us.

Do...and be shaped

Another blog I read http://mandythompson.com/ has a challenge for September. She talks about being a DOer. Check it out you will be glad you did. She asked her readers to share and today is my day.
My story is simple compared to the other Do Something stories. But at least in my life, my families life, and those around me in my church and community my experience as described below has made a difference. So here it goes...
I am a DOer because I have been shaped...
Have you ever noticed, when driving down the road, the way the trees are shaped? It almost looks like an upside down L shape. It appears to be a notch out of the tree branches where the trucks drive along the road. I have seen this before and not given it much thought until my pastor shared a story recently. He shared about a women who also saw the way the branches were shaped. But she didn't stop there. She decided to investigate further these strange shaped trees along a boulevard one day. What she noticed was the branches actually shaped themselves away from those trucks that would damage it's branches. It needs those branches to hold the leaves that help the tree grow. The tree shaped itself to become bigger and stronger, but away from danger. I just assumed the reason of the strange shaped trees were trees were broken and damaged. (They may have been at one point... but the healing and the new growth is the cool part!.

It is the burdens in our life that will shape what our life will become.


Our burdens no doubt shape us. We do have choices to make. Will we become bitter or anxious, depressed or lost? Will we turn toward Him? Will we keep on the path of self harm and try to do it ourselves? What would it look like if we trusted in Him? What could it look like when we use our burdens to become better and stronger and sturdy?

After the birth of my second daughter our family was faced with our own burden. My life isn't perfect, but up until that point things were going pretty smooth. When my newborn was 6 days old her doctor called to inform us that her Newborn Screen was abnormal and she had a potentially life threatening genetic disorder. I was rocked to my core. Life had thrown me the biggest "curve ball" of my life. I had choices to make. I chose to let Jesus shape me. I chose to learn and grow. Another choice was to use our experiences with our daughter to encourage others. God was using the "burdens (ie..worry, stress, illnesses, time)" to glorify Him. I had more compassion for those dealing with a difficult diagnosis. I choose to trust Jesus. I choose to take each day at a time. So much of our burdens are worries for what may or may not even happen! Be alive today. Be shaped today. Allow God to transform your life. Don't wait for the perfect time to be used by God. So many times we use the excuse that we can't serve until...we have the training, or time, or money, or less stress, or discover our "gift" or what ever. But he may just want you to use those burdens to do something big....now. Don't just sit there...do something.

what do your eyes look to?

I hope through her eyes she sees my love for her. I hope she can see that I care for her. I trust that her eyes see goodness, love, security, and joy. I pray that her eyes will see peace and goodwill in this world. I pray that when she has tears in her eyes that she is comforted and encouraged. I pray that the sparkle in her eyes remain for all her life. I pray for her future that through those eyes she will read and write and add and subtract. I believe that through those eyes could see herself as a doctor or lawyer or anything else she wants to be. But the prayer I pray most is that her eyes will look to God. That she will trust jesus will all her heart. Oh little one you are so special to me and your little eyes are just beautiful.

lake michigan

Just a view that we love every summer (sometimes more than once if we're lucky!) I remember as a kid we visited my aunt and a lighthouse in her town and thought it was so cool. My sister and I climbed to the top. Our little legs had to work so hard to make it to the top but we did. Back then they were special because I only saw them a few times during all my childhood. Now, I look at lighthouses every summer and a couple things come to mind. One, is that the lighthouse guides all those boats who need direction to make it back to shore safely. It is bright, and sturdy and a beacon to guide. It also guides even when it can't be seen. There are times when we have been standing on the beach directly in front of the lighthouse and can't see it because of the fog. The mist floats around and clouds the sky and the boats still can return safely because of the loud mellow horn calling them home.

Faith is like a lighthouse. It is the substance of things hoped for but not seen. Sometimes that path is not always clear. Thankfully God gives us his word to light our little paths. To get us closer to Him. But even when we can't always see exactly what or where to go...he calls us and waits for us to trust in His plans.

I am planning to make more time to reading and studying the Bible this fall. Not just that but memorizing it too. Wish me luck!

Give thanks

This picture is from Laine's birthday a few weeks ago. She turned 3 recently and we have a lot to be thankful for. She has been been doing so well and is healthy and strong. After she was born with rare genetic disorder called VLCAD (see side bar for more info), I was consumed with worry, anxiety and fear for the first few months of her life. But I learned to trust that we have a good God that wanted us to have joy and not pain, hope and a future for her life seemed more realistic. My husband is so faithful and was such an encouragement. He never wavered in trusting that God would answer our prayers. I so appreciated that. She is so spunky and our little firecracker. She'll start preschool this fall, and that will be an adjustment for me! Here's to Laine and her birthday!

Paige's faith

This week I asked Paige what she has been learned about God at Church Camp and what she is learning at Sunday School. She replied..."Well I learned that in heaven there are pearly gates (once she opened just one oyster with a pearl inside and was thrilled, I can't imagine what she is thinking when there will be gates covered in them) and Goldy roads (like the yellow brick road), and ya know what else mom? I get to see Jesus face." Precious, Priceless, my Paige.

Rainbows...

I love rainbows. I love the bright cheerful colors. I love the happiness and joy they bring my young girls who stare in amazement at the beautiful painting in the sky. I love even more what rainbows represent. God's promises to me. He loves me and cares for me. He does you too.

Today, he cares for my friend who miscarried and lost her baby...He cares for my patient that fought the fight and passed, but, is now looking at Jesus face...He cares for Laine and Paige and our family...He cares about you too. He cares about the big and little things in our lives. Thank you God for the promises you give. Thank you Jesus for the cross and for reminding us when times are tough you've been there too...You know pain. Without the rain there can't be the rainbows.

Look how far we've come!

Searching though old pictures is fun and I found this one of Laine. It reminded me of how far she has come with the healing of the Strawberry Hemangioma that developed after birth. This picture was taken about 2 months after it stopped growing so this isn't when it was at the largest, but, it gives you an idea from when she was 10 months old to now about 2 1/2 years. We are hopeful in the next few years she will continue to heal better. She may need some plastic surgery in a couple years but our doctors are hopeful that it will get better with more time. We have seen Dermatology, Hematology and Opthalmalogy at U of M and all are pleased with the progress. We see all the doctors again later this summer for check ups. We'll keep you posted! She also returns to her Genetic/Metabolic doctors later this summer and we are pleased with Laine's progress and health and hope they are too. She has only had one hospital stay this last winter for the year so far. We are hopeful for no more stays this year. We give God the glory for meeting our needs and answering our prayers. During the first few weeks after she was born and we were faced with her Metabolic condition and the growing Hemangioma, needless to say that I was one stressed momma. I would have never guessed our lives would return to our "normal" that it is today (although it was my prayer). I am reminded to ask by prayer and petition our desires and God is good and faithful.

The hard days of being a nurse

Being a nurse for the last ten years I have seen my share of heartbreaking stories, illnesses, patients and families. I have probably been present for at least 50 people passing. Every week I take care of at least a few precious patients who have less than a week to live. I have shed a few tears for every patient that passes away (If I ever don't then it would be time to hang up my stethoscope). But, few have touched me in a way that one particular family has this last year. I cry today for her family as she is very sick and barring a miracle I have learned she probably has less than a day to live. The special thing about her is that her faith is strong in the mist of miserable circumstances. But God is good and faithful during this time. She has encouraged so many people during this time of her illness. Her family has been a shining light. I pray for them today and I know how good our God is and ask for that miracle. Our God is big enough. I have asked for miracles before (When Laine was born and diagnosed with VLCAD). So I have seen first hand how he has blessed Laine's life and our family. We give God all the glory for how good Laine is doing and so strong, sassy and feisty. So tonight I think of them and His promises. We "can do all things through Christ who strengthens us" Phil 4:13